Watching and Hoping
by denise1
Summary: Jonas things about his new friends


Watching & Hoping

By

Denise

I look at them and my heart aches. There is such camaraderie between them, such a sense of friendship and mutual love. They aren't really three people, but three pieces of a whole.

They communicate silently sometimes, a quick glance conveying more then mere words. They protect each other, and at times, I don't think they even realize that they're doing it.

So often I've watched them close ranks, one stepping forward to approach the usurper, while the other moves closer to the one they're protecting, ready to do battle if necessary, anything to save their friend.

Each of them have their own strengths and weaknesses, and they seamlessly compliment each other.

O'Neill has an immense strength of will, but at times he does lack tact and finesse. It is at those times that Major Carter steps forward, quietly restating his words, phrasing them in a more acceptable manner. Her natural grace and charm neatly smoothing any ruffled feathers.

Major Carter often gets lost in her enthusiasm to explore and learn. And both Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c stand ready to help her find her way back, each of them in slightly different ways, but both willing to help her keep her feet on the ground. In a way, I think they both enjoy her enthusiasm, using it to bolster their war weary souls.

O'Neill silently urges her to grow and learn, molding her into the officer he wants her to be. She accepts his challenge, and Teal'c is there to support her, ready with a wise word, or sometimes just there, a steadfast presence.

Teal'c is the most enigmatic of the three, his quiet demeanor masking an incredible loyalty and love for his friends. He would die for them, going peacefully to the deity of his choice comforted by the knowledge that they will go on without him.

I think both of the men are in love with the major, each in their own way. Many times I've seen O'Neill watching her, keeping his distance yet, at times, visibly concerned about her. Teal'c is often in her company, seemingly assigning himself to be her bodyguard or protector.

These two warriors have been greatly effected by the loss of their fourth, more than they will ever verbally admit. Because of that, they seem to have decided to cherish and protect the friend they have left. I see the silent battle of wills, protectiveness warring with independence. Caring tempered by the fear of another loss, the desire to feel more contrasting with the need to isolate their own feelings.

I've also noticed the major, watching over her two men like a lioness guards her cubs. I see her talking to them; teasing them in a familiar casualness that is all too rare among men and women.

She is maternal and sisterly, intimate and platonic all at the same time. I sense that she knows the true value of her friends' loyalty, yet I think, at times, she does not perceive the gravity of their feelings. She loves them as much as they love her, her feelings more noticeable than theirs at times, but no less precious.

I've watched them in the last month, struggling with their feelings and with each other. They've sought to fill the void left by their friend's loss, yet I know that they're not ready to accept another. Candidate after candidate has been presented to them, and each has been found lacking. They're not ready to accept a replacement, I don't know if they ever will be ready.

I remember when Doctor Kieran lost his wife, an accident stealing a piece of his heart. For months he existed, his grief a physical part of him, his pain plain upon his face.

He was gruff and austere for months after her death, the struggle to both deal with and to hide his pain leaving him little time for anything else. Eventually, though, eventually he started to look beyond the grief, allowing himself to feel, to care. He started to live again, to move beyond her death and accept that she'd never want him to forever mourn her loss.

Ultimately, SG-1 will do that. Each day, I see less pain and more acceptance in their eyes. In their hearts, they know that their friend isn't gone forever, and that he would not want them to mourn him indefinitely.

Someday they will be ready to allow another to join their group, ready to open their hearts and their minds to a new fourth member of their team. Dare I wish that that someone could be me?

Fin


End file.
